Anxiety and Depression are often symptoms of unprocessed trauma. When people work in therapy to process feelings that are inside of them from unprocessed trauma, their symptoms of anxiety and depression are alleviated. Many people are prescribed medication for anxiety and depression. Sometimes medication is helpful and a combination of medication and therapy is the best course of treatment. Sometimes after processing trauma in therapy, a person may discover that they no longer need medication.

Symptoms of anxiety can present in a myriad of ways. Some of these include: Racing thoughts, thought spirals, negative thoughts, feeling out of control, inability to feel calm, unable to stop worrying, trouble concentrating, sense of impending danger, startle response, increased heart rate, stomach and digestive issues, sweating, trouble sleeping, and feeling tired.

People who are depressed may feel hopeless, sad, apathy, worthless and guilty, see life as pointless or meaningless, experience sleep disturbances (sleeping too much or not enough), eat too much or too little, have thoughts about ending their life, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, social isolation, feel tired, have trouble concentrating.

Loss is an inevitable and painful part of life. It is normal to feel sad, angry, and many other feelings when we lose a loved one. Processing these difficult feelings with a therapist can provide a sense of comfort and help people move forward in time. Death is not the only event that involves loss. People can feel loss and need to grieve when they break up with a partner, end a friendship, get divorced, change jobs, move from one stage of life to another (for example when a child grows up and moves out of the house). Loss is one of the most common and most difficult human experiences.

People who are feeling depressed and people who are trauma survivors often live with an overwhelming sense of guilt. Guilt can be experienced as a general feeling that you are not a good person or that you have done something wrong.

Oftentimes in therapy you will discover that this feeling is actually being put into you by another person. This can be a person in your life who wants you to do something (for them) or be a certain way (that serves them). Once you learn to stop trying to live up to someone else’s standards and expectations, your guilty feelings will dissipate.

There are so many transitional times of life. Some of these include getting married, divorced, making a career change, getting diagnosed with an illness, retiring, becoming a parent, or having a grown child who is moving out. It is easy to see why some of these transitions such as getting divorced are stressful. Getting married or retiring seem on the surface that they would be happy transitions but in reality, for many reasons these events may also be stressful. Having the support of a therapist during times of transition can be comforting and make transitions easier.

Relationships are one of the most important parts of life. Our earliest relationships shape who we are in subsequent relationships. We develop attachment styles and relational patterns early in life and these determine who we become. Who are you as a friend, a partner, a parent? Therapy will help you understand who you are in relationships, how you got to be that way, and ultimately help you change relationship patterns and attachment styles so that your relationships can be more fulfilling.

Abuse is the cruel or violent treatment of another person. Many people come to therapy for help with anxiety or depression and then discover that the cause of these symptoms is a history of abuse, a current abusive relationship, or both. Abusive behaviors can include any behavior that is meant to control, isolate, or frighten another person. Abusers may use manipulation, humiliation, denial of your reality, cruel language or intonation, insults, or threats. Talking about abuse with your therapist can help you get out of an abusive relationship, process trauma, and heal.

A “trauma” is not an event in and of itself. Trauma refers to the way an event is processed, or stored, in the body and brain. If an event happens (during childhood or adulthood) and another person (perhaps a parent or a therapist) does not help you to process the event by validating your feelings and affirming your reality, then that event can become traumatizing. A traumatizing event can be acute; a one time event such as a natural disaster or a car crash. On the other hand, chronic trauma is caused by prolonged or repeated traumatic incidents such as combat or domestic abuse. Unprocessed trauma from wars and abusive relationships can get passed from generation to generation; this is known as the intergenerational transmission of trauma.

Boundaries serve as limits that communicate to others how we want to be treated and what each person in a relationship is responsible for. One central reason why people have trouble with relationships is poor or weak boundaries. Weak boundaries can be caused by a history of mistreatment or abuse which has caused fear of rejection, criticism, disapproval, or conflict. Weak boundaries do not provide enough protection and separation. Examples of weak boundaries can be divulging too much information, over-explaining yourself because you are used to not being believed or understood, saying “yes” to people even when you want to say “no” because you feel guilty, feeling responsible for other people’s feelings, and not standing up for yourself when people treat you poorly. Therapy can help you identify boundary problems and learn how to develop and implement healthy boundaries.