Boundaries

Boundaries serve as limits that communicate to others how we want to be treated and what each person in a relationship is responsible for.

One central reason why people have trouble with relationships is poor or weak boundaries. Some people may also have boundaries that are too rigid. Weak and rigid boundaries can both be caused by a history of abuse which has caused fear rejection, criticism, disapproval, or conflict.

Weak boundaries do not provide enough protection and separation. Examples of weak boundaries can be divulging too much information, over-explaining yourself because you are used to not being believed or understood, saying “yes” to people even when you want to say “no” because you feel guilty, feeling responsible for other people’s feelings, and not standing up for yourself when people treat you poorly. 

On the other end of the spectrum are boundaries that are too rigid. Rigid boundaries get in the way of connecting with others can can keep you isolated. Rigid boundaries might look like cutting someone off because they have wronged you one time instead of communicating with them, isolating yourself, or staying silent instead of sharing with others. Therapy can help people identify boundary problems and learn how to develop and implement healthy boundaries.